Why is selfishness good

Read a book in bed, binge-watch a show, or take a nap. Rest is essential to any type of recovery. Some people might not get it when you choose staying home over going out. We all need alone time sometimes, and some people need more than others. Social interactions can be exhausting for some people. But when it comes to relationships that are damaging, sometimes you need to put yourself first.

If something is affecting your well-being, it might be time to say goodbye. Although it can fluctuate, any relationship should have a good balance of give-and-take. The balance of give-and-take is especially important when living with someone. Do you find yourself doing all the errands and chores when you get home from work while they come home and put their feet up? Depending on the situation, you may choose to talk to them, take a short break to recharge, or cut them out completely. Everyone is susceptible to burnout or work exhaustion.

Certain professions can be exceptionally draining. When burnout occurs, it can hurt both your professional and personal life. So when clocking-out time comes, truly clock out. Turn off your work notifications, snooze your email, and deal with it tomorrow. Most of the time, whatever it is can be handled just as well tomorrow instead of in the middle of dinner. No matter what you do, make sure you have time to separate yourself from work.

Creating this work-life balance can help you avoid burnout and bring more happiness to your personal life. It can be good to be a little selfish to take care of your emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

Many people who focus entirely on give, give, give end up overwhelmed, fatigued, and stressed. And chronic stress has been linked to a number of health risks, including conditions like diabetes, cancer, and mental illnesses. Whatever you do, remember to take care of yourself. Jamie Elmer is a copy editor who hails from Southern California. This has other benefits too. You will feel more satisfied with your life and more motivated to help others when you can see the things you aspire to getting ever closer.

Self-reflection allows us to examine how we feel about what we are doing now so that we can adjust our efforts to focus on the things that are of greater importance.

It could be asking where we can be of most help to others so that we spend more time on those things. When you are wrapped up in the lives of others, it can be hard to see and value your own independence. Part of being selfish is looking after yourself. We all face times that are either painful or difficult or both. Selfishness also means you are more willing to forego other commitments in favor of getting through the difficult times you face.

Yes, if you have high self-worth , you are more likely to properly care for yourself. But the very act of taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority increases your self-worth too.

So being selfish means recognizing that you are a person who is worthy of your own care and attention. You are always at the beck and call of other people and thus you live by their expectations of you. Equally, you may not wish to disappoint important people in your life — primarily your parents or partner — and so you do what they want you to do. You follow a career path they set out for you, you dress how they want you to dress, and you act how they want you to act.

While many of us constantly ruminate about ourselves and our position in the world, we aren't typically ruthlessly going around and taking things for ourselves so that others can't enjoy them. The word "selfish" almost always has a negative connotation like caring only about yourself while disregarding others but it's time to rebrand the word in order to highlight how healthy and productive selfishness can be.

The other side, the "good" side of selfishness, is that you take care of yourself enough to be in top form for doing whatever you want to spend energy on — taking care of your kids, excelling at your job, and maintaining great relationships. In fact, even staying alive requires a certain amount of "selfishness. You have to sleep.

You have to get yourself some kind of shelter. These are examples of a necessary and healthy selfishness. So why should you ditch the guilt and feel good about putting yourself first? Here are nine reasons why from psychologists, doctors, and self-help experts who agree that sometimes you should be selfish.

How will you aid and improve the lives of those around you, if you don't make sure you have enough of what you need to operate at your best? This concept can also be easily compared to giving your car fuel and oil so that you don't break down from attempting to run on empty, and it's called self-care.

The World Health Organization gives a broad definition of the concept of self-care as "the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, and maintain health and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health-care provider.

In our contemporary pop culture, the concept has blossomed to include making sure to give yourself more of the things you need to be happy and cutting down on those self-sacrificing outlays of your valuable energy. The idea is that the happier, healthier, and more self-fulfilled you are, the more you'll have to give to the causes and people who matter most to you. You have probably heard of the phenomenon that some people, usually women, are constant caretakers, doers, and helpers—sometimes at the expense of their own health and happiness.

These people are known for their inability to say no — to doing a favor, to staying late at work, to picking up the slack on someone else's project — the list goes on. Melanie Ross Mills , a therapist and radio relationship expert, told me she recommends "guarding your time, talent, and treasure so that you can give out your time, talent, and treasure [elsewhere].

The idea is that when you protect your time by saying no to things that aren't enriching or interesting to you, you can learn to identify and develop your real areas of unique talent. And those areas are where you have the most to contribute to others and the world around you anyway. The time you spend learning about yourself, developing your talents, and sharing your treasure will be used to love others in greater ways.

You'll offer more insight and wisdom on a topic. You'll help a friend that will benefit from your skill sets. When you are constantly over-giving of yourself, your time, and your energy to others there is no way around it — at some point you will start to feel some resentment. Margaret Rutherford , a clinical psychologist, self-help author, and expert in hidden depression told me that "Sacrificing for others can build trust and a realization of the joy in seeing others' needs or wants met, [but] carried too far, self-sacrifice can morph into martyrdom — a sense of constantly doing for others at a huge expense to self.

For true success, you need self-awareness," she said.